“ A two-year old is kind of like a blender, but you don’t have any top for it. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 1.3K
“ A two-year old is kind of like a blender, but you don’t have any top for it. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 1.5K
“ It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 3.3K
“ Keep your head up in failure, and your head down in success. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 1.8K
“ Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don’t have the top for. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 3.9K
“ Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don’t have the top for. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 1.6K
“ You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 3.6K
“ It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 911
“ Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 2.9K
“ It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 2.2K
“ Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 194
“ Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
“ You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’ ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 1.1K
“ We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 914
“ Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it’s always, who’s responsible for this? ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
“ Being a good husband is like being a stand. up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 111
“ Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? No Pockets. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 3.9K
“ Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door. ”
- Jerry Seinfeld- Copy
- 3.5K
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