Quotes of Witty - somelinesforyou

“ The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. ”

- Albert Einstein

“ Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. ”

- Oscar Wilde

“ There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. ”

- Peter Drucker

“ An intellectual solves a problem. A genius avoids it. ”

- Albert Einstein

“ A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice. ”

- Bill Cosby

“ Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. ”

- C. G. Jung

“ I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it. ”

- Groucho Marx

“ We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. ”

- Ben Franklin

“ Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. ”

- Steven Wright

“ It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. ”

- Woody Allen

“ You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer “yes" without having asked any clear question. ”

- Albert Camus

“ Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand. ”

- Kurt Vonnegut

“ I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it. ”

- Mitch Hedberg

“ The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it’s limits. ”

- Albert Einstein

“ From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put. ”

- Winston Churchill

“ Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. ”

- Mark Twain

“ Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. ”

- George Carlin

“ Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both. ”

- Dorothy Parker

“ Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it’s always, who’s responsible for this? ”

- Jerry Seinfeld

“ The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose. ”

- William Shakespeare

“ I may be drunk, but in the morning I’ll be sober and you’ll still be ugly. ”

- Winston Churchill

“ Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses. ”

- Elizabeth Taylor

“ If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. ”

- Flip Wilson

“ I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying. ”

- Woody Allen

“ Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. ”

- Oscar Wilde

“ Mirror is my best friend, because when I cry it never laughs. ”

- Charlie Chaplin

“ If I were two. faced, would I be wearing this one? ”

- Abraham Lincoln

“ People who didn’t need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn’t need people. ”

- Terry Pratchett

“ He has Van Gogh’s ear for music. ”

- Billy Wilder

“ Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second. best policy. ”

- George Carlin
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