“ I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. ”
- Wendy Leibman- Copy
- 2.6K
“ Recipes are like a dating service. They almost never end up looking like the picture. ”
- Unknown- Copy
- 3.1K
“ I’m a simple woman, I like handsome bearded brunette men and breakfast food. ”
- Unknown- Copy
- 26
“ I’ll never join one of those online dating services. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. Through alcohol and poor judgement. ”
- Unknown- Copy
- 337
“ I refuse to go out with a man whose ass is smaller than mine. ”
- Elizabeth Perkins- Copy
- 1.9K
“ When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed. ”
- Scott Adams- Copy
- 1.1K
“ You ever been on a date so bad, the girl makes you drop her off at another dude’s house? ”
- Roy Wood Jr.- Copy
- 1K
“ One woman I was dating called and said, ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home. ”
- Rodney Dangerfield- Copy
- 3.7K
“ I date this girl for two years—and then the nagging starts: ‘I wanna know your name…’ ”
- Mike Binder- Copy
- 1.3K
“ I’m still going on bad dates, when by now I should be in a bad marriage. ”
- Laura Kightlinger- Copy
- 1.6K
“ Benefits of dating me: You will be dating me. I could go on but I think I have made my point. ”
- Unknown- Copy
- 3.8K
“ Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. ”
- Woody Allen- Copy
- 533
“ Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either. ”
- Chelsea Handler- Copy
- 1.5K
“ I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that reads, “Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman. ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 610
“ “Whenever I date a guy, I think, “Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?” ”
- Rita Rudner- Copy
- 723
“ It’s not a date. We’re just agreeing to eat at the same table. ”
- Barbara Streisand- Copy
- 3.4K
“ People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but Im human, I dont date fish. ”
- Unknown- Copy
- 963
“ My mom always complains about my lack of a boyfriend. Well, next time she asks, I’m going to tell her I’m dating two different guys — Mr. Duracell and Mr. Energizer. ”
- Michelle Landry- Copy
- 3.6K
“ I’d rather straighten my pubes with a flat iron than go on another blind date. ”
- Stephanie McAfee- Copy
- 1K
“ Employees make the best dates; you don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax. deductible. ”
- Andy Warhol- Copy
- 3.7K
“ I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his face. I didn’t say that out loud, of course. I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I’d have no friends. ”
- Chelsea Handler- Copy
- 2.6K
“ A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe. ”
- Rita Rudner- Copy
- 1.9K
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