“ I don’t like to celebrate my birthday, because I don’t like taking credit for others’ work—in this case, my mom and dad. Or possibly my mom and the mailman. ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 1K
“ The event happened on my birthday. I don’t remember the date, I only know it was my birthday because there was no cake or presents. ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 1.3K
“ On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones. ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 3.7K
“ I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that reads, “Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman. ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 610
“ The difference between you and him and him and me isn’t different at all: we’re all different. ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 2.3K
“ From the ages of 8. 18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge. ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 2.9K
“ If I could lick the sunset, I’ll bet it would taste like Neapolitan ice cream. ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 2.2K
“ The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss. ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 2.3K
“ If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 2.7K
“ You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash. ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 938
“ To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone. ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 3K
“ God ordered the world and all things in it, and I ordered a pizza and all things on it. ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 1.2K
“ I talked to a calzone for fifteen minutes last night before I realized it was just an introverted pizza. I wish all my acquaintances were so tasty. ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 3.8K
“ It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food. ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 1.3K
“ Vacation, I go there in my mind. Especially when I’m at work, getting paid for it. ”
- Jarod Kintz- Copy
- 1