Quotes of Facetious - somelinesforyou

“ Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars. ”

- Fred Allen

“ I remember when I got married. I remember where I got married. But for the life of me, I can't remember why I got married. ”

- Unknown

“ So you want to become my son-in-law.Not exactly. I just want to marry your daughter. ”

- Unknown

“ When my wife was asked, "Do you take this man for richer or poorer..." she answered, "For richer. ”

- Unknown

“ Marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached. ”

- Jacob Braude

“ I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him? ”

- Jerry Seinfeld

“ France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper. ”

- Billy Wilder

“ Flying from the U.S. to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school. ”

- Dave Barry

“ Miami bumper sticker: My horn is broken-so watch for my finger. ”

- Unknown

“ Retirement must be wonderful. I mean, you can suck in your stomach for only so long. ”

- Burt Reynolds

“ My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park. ”

- Jay Leno

“ Once my wife gave me a wonderful birthday present. She let me win an argument. ”

- Unknown

“ There are three signs of old age: loss of memory... I forget the other two. ”

- Red Skelton

“ There are three signs of senility. The first sign is that a man forgets his theorems. The second sign is that he forgets to zip up. The third sign is that he forgets to zip down. ”

- Stanislaw Ulam

“ My health is good; it's my age that's bad. ”

- Roy Acuff

“ A man is a person that will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item she doesn't want. ”

- William Binger

“ My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age. ”

- Robert Orben

“ Is sex dirty? Only if it is done right. ”

- Woody Allen

“ The rich can be "eccentric," the poor have to be considered "nuts. ”

- Unknown

“ The best way to save money is not to lose it. ”

- Les Williams

“ The best way to save face is keep the bottom half shut. ”

- Unknown

“ When we're young we want to change the world. When we're old we want to change the young. ”

- Unknown

“ When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; When health is lost, something is lost; When character is lost, all is lost! ”

- Motto

“ When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; When health is lost, something is lost; When character is lost, all is lost! ”

- Unknown

“ No woman ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes. ”

- Unknown

“ What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick! ”

- Kirchenbaum

“ What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times? A widow. ”

- Unknown

“ When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason. ”

- Molly McGee

“ Think and wonder, wonder and think. ”

- Dr. Seuss

“ Not here not there not anywhere! ”

- Dr. Seuss
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