“ There are only three things women need in life: food, water and compliments. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 3.8K
“ If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you’re ahead of the game. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 3.3K
“ Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 2.3K
“ Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 1.7K
“ There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 2.5K
“ Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 1.8K
“ I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 2.1K
“ Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 2.2K
“ I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 2.6K
“ There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 1.7K
“ You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more? ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 743
“ You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 1.8K
“ You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders. Yeah! Every time somebody get shut we’d say, ‘Damn, he must have done something ... Shit, he’s got fifty thousand dollars worth of bullets in his ass.’ And people would think before they killed somebody if a bullet cost five thousand dollars. ‘Man I would blow your fucking head off…if I could afford it.’ ‘I’m gonna get me another job, I’m going to start saving some money, and you’re a dead man. You’d better hope I can’t get no bullets on layaway.’ So even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you wouldn't have to go to no doctor to get it taken out. Whoever shot you would take their bullet back, like "I believe you got my property. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 2.6K
“ I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 858
“ Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 491
“ Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four. We own this shit. Basketball, baseball, football, golf, tennis, and as soon as they make a heated hockey rink we'll take that shit too. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 570
“ Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystander. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 3.9K
“ Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 2.5K
“ Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystander. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 1.9K
“ Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 749
“ Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest! ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 2.1K
“ Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 451
“ A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 135
“ Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 417
“ Richard Pryor was the Rosa Parks of comedy. He took risks and chances that made it possible for a whole generation of comics to exist. No one ever rocked the mike like Richard Pryor. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 3.7K
“ Richard Pryor was the Rosa Parks of comedy. He took risks and chances that made it possible for a whole generation of comics to exist. No one ever rocked the mike like Richard Pryor. ”
- Chris Rock- Copy
- 2K
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