Quotes of Jocular - somelinesforyou

“ The best way to save face is keep the bottom half shut. ”

- Unknown

“ I hope you live to be as old as your jokes. ”

- Unknown

“ My wife is the most wonderful woman in the world, and that's not just my opinion - it's hers. ”

- Unknown

“ Why did God make man before he made woman? Because he didn't want any advice on how to do it. ”

- Unknown

“ We had a very successful trip to Russia we got back. ”

- Bob Hope

“ A joke's a very serious thing. ”

- Charles Churchill

“ Retirement must be wonderful. I mean, you can suck in your stomach for only so long. ”

- Burt Reynolds

“ Is sex dirty? Only if it is done right. ”

- Woody Allen

“ The rich can be "eccentric," the poor have to be considered "nuts. ”

- Unknown

“ The best way to save money is not to lose it. ”

- Les Williams

“ My doctor gave me six months to live but when I couldn't pay the bill, he gave me six months more. ”

- Walter Matthau

“ When we're young we want to change the world. When we're old we want to change the young. ”

- Unknown

“ When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; When health is lost, something is lost; When character is lost, all is lost! ”

- Motto

“ When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; When health is lost, something is lost; When character is lost, all is lost! ”

- Unknown

“ No woman ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes. ”

- Unknown

“ What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick! ”

- Kirchenbaum

“ What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times? A widow. ”

- Unknown

“ When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason. ”

- Molly McGee

“ From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. ”

- Dr. Seuss

“ The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. ”

- Tallulah Bankhead

“ Men often compete with one another until the day they die; comradeship consists of rubbing shoulders jocularly with a competitor. ”

- Edward Hoagland

“ A witty saying proves nothing. ”

- Voltaire

“ Gray hair is God's graffiti. ”

- Bill Cosby

“ I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell? ”

- Andy Warhol

“ I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect. ”

- Oscar Wilde

“ Sex is like money; only too much is enough. ”

- John Updike

“ My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. ”

- Red Skelton

“ Good Americans when they die, go to Paris. ”

- Oliver Wendell Holmes

“ I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest. ”

- Steven Pearl

“ Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. ”

- Ogden Nash
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