Quotes of Dick

“ At his wife's 60th birthday party in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, Dick Cheney had a huge steak and battered onion rings for dinner. Afterwards he met with 100 donors, not campaign donors, heart donors. ”

- Jay Leno

“ This race between Dick Swett and Bob Smith is hot and tight as a too-small bathing suit on a too-long car ride back from the beach. ”

- Dan Rather

“ I'll have to have a room of my own. Nobody could sleep with Dick. He wakes up during the night, switches on the lights, speaks into his tape recorder. ”

- Pat Nixon

“ Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it? ”

- David Letterman

“ President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President Dick Cheney also got in a couple of strokes. ”

- Jay Leno

“ President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a president to spend time away from Washington. Or at least that's what Dick Cheney told him. ”

- Jay Leno

“ On Monday, President Bush will reach his 100th day in office. It's a big milestone for him, surpassed all expectations. In fact, so has Dick Cheney. Cheney was only supposed to make it to day 73. ”

- Jay Leno

“ According to doctors, George Bush has the lowest heartbeat ever recorded by someone in the White House. Well, second lowest. Dick Cheney got his down to zero a couple of times. ”

- Jay Leno

“ We're all God's children, Bob. And I think if you were to talk to Dick Cheney's daughter, who is a lesbian, she would tell you that she's being who she was, she's being who she was born as. ”

- John F. Kerry

“ Have a nice trip, Dick. ”

- Betty Ford

“ In brief, I don't stick to declare, Father Dick, so they call him for a short, is a regular brick; a metaphor taken - I have not the page aright - from an ethical work by the Stagyrite. ”

- Richard Harris Barham

“ The Dick, Jane, and Spot primers have gone to that bookshelf in the sky. I have, in some ways, a tender feeling toward them, so I think it's for the best. ”

- Chris Van Allsburg

“ An optimist is someone who goes after Moby Dick in a rowboat and takes the tartar sauce with him. ”

- Zig Ziglar

“ Going to call him William? What kind of name is that? Every Tom, Dick and Harry's called William. Why don't they call him Bill. ”

- Samuel Goldwyn

“ Dick, frankly you do not have the war plan… which makes me quite happy. ”

- Donald Rumsfeld

“ You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'. ”

- Chris Rock

“ I think I'd make a better president than George Bush. I'll tell you what, George Bush and Dick Cheney have been to jail more times than I have, and I used to shoot heroin, now what does that tell you? ”

- Dave Mustaine

“ Plans are being discussed as to who will replace Dick Cheney if he has to resign for health reasons. It's not easy for President Bush, he can't just name a replacement. He would first have to be confirmed by the oil, gas and power companies. ”

- Jay Leno

“ Dick Cheney told reports that he has a new outlook on life. He says the best part of waking up is… waking up! I guess the doctors don't even put stitches in Cheney's chest anymore - they now just use Velcro. ”

- Jay Leno

“ All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned — the biggest word of all — look. ”

- Robert Fulghum
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