Quotes of Fran Lebowitz - somelinesforyou

“ Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ Food is an important part of a balanced diet. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ My favorite animal is steak. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ Humility is no substitute for a good personality. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ You’re only as good as your last haircut. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ I am alternately very gregarious – very sociable – and then very solitary. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ My favorite animal is steak. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ Think before you speak. Read before you think. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ فكر قبل أن تتكلم، واقرأ قبل أن تفكر ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death. ”

- Fran Lebowitz

“ The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat. ”

- Fran Lebowitz
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