Quotes of Craig Kilborn - somelinesforyou

“ In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with "Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.". ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ As fighting in Iraq intensifies, President Bush delivered his supplemental war budget to Congress. The money will cover 30 days of fighting, then we'll be sent one war every other month until we cancel our subscription. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ John Kerry was officially endorsed by Dick Gephardt, and Kerry said, 'What did I ever do to you?'. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor. He's got a great slogan - 'Vote for me, or I'll make 'Kindergarten Cop II'. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a do's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.'. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ The French were so dominant, their goalie never had to drop his cigarette. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ It was reported that the Clintons plan on selling their home in Chappaqua. There's already a plaque on the couch that says The President Slept Here. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ Senator Hillary Clinton is attacking President Bush for breaking his campaign promise to cut carbon dioxide emissions, saying a promise made, a promise broken. And then out of habit, she demanded that Bush spend the night on the couch. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ Senator Hillary Clinton is attacking President Bush for breaking his campaign promise to cut carbon dioxide emissions, saying a promise made, a promise broken. And then out of habit, she demanded that Bush spend the night on the couch. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a do's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with "Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.". ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ John Kerry was officially endorsed by Dick Gephardt, and Kerry said, 'What did I ever do to you?'. ”

- Craig Kilborn

“ Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, 'If I can't run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then I'm out of here.'. ”

- Craig Kilborn
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