Quotes of Baptist

“ The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking. It's a ritual known as 'Bobbing for Baptists.'. ”

- A. Whitney Brown

“ I was brought up as a strict Baptist and when I was about 14 I thought, I don't want to spend eternity sitting on a bloody cloud playing a harp. Utopia sounds good, but wouldn't it get bloody boring? ”

- David Bellamy

“ I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough. ”

- Kinky Friedman

“ Baptists are very independent. ”

- Bible

“ The Baptists believe in The Right to Life before you're born. They also believe in Life After Death, but that is a privilege and you have to earn it by spending the interim in guilt-ridden misery. At an early age I decided that living a life of pious misery in the hope of going to heaven when it's over is a lot like keeping your eyes shut all through a movie in the hope of getting your money back at the end. ”

- A. Whitney Brown
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