Quotes of Jon Stewart - somelinesforyou

“ I have complete faith in the continued absurdity of whatever’s going on. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ I’m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ It doesn’t make it a gotcha question just because it got ya. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ Insomnia is my greatest inspiration. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ If you don’t stick to your values when they’re being tested, they’re not values” they’re hobbies. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ If we amplify everything we hear nothing. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion... perhaps around their necks? And maybe dare I dream it? maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ I celebrated Thanksgiving in an oldfashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ Get there early because hope does not park your motherfucking car. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ The internet is just a world passing notes around a classroom. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ If we amplify everything, we hear nothing. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion... perhaps around their necks? And maybe dare I dream it? maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ Most world religions denounced war as a barbaric waste of human life. We treasured the teachings of these religions so dearly that we frequently had to wage war in order to impose them on other people. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ Some are from the world of the arts, some from the fields of business, architecture, wine-making and education. What they have in common is that they are all known nationally — and many internationally — for their wide-ranging achievements. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ The blend of fiction, bigotry and jingoism became known as 'yellow journalism.' Later, the phrase was shortened to 'journalism.'. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ The blend of fiction, bigotry and jingoism became known as 'yellow journalism.' Later, the phrase was shortened to 'journalism.'. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ Germany didn't want to got to war (in Iraq). I don't know how to say it any more simply than that. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. ”

- Jon Stewart

“ Some are from the world of the arts, some from the fields of business, architecture, wine-making and education. What they have in common is that they are all known nationally — and many internationally — for their wide-ranging achievements. ”

- Jon Stewart
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