Quotes of English

“ Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to? ”

- Clarence Darrow

“ The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary. ”

- Dave Kellett

“ If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. ”

- Doug Larson

“ England and America are two countries separated by a common language. ”

- George Bernard Shaw

“ The English have no respect for their language, and will not teach their children to speak it. ”

- George Bernard Shaw

“ Every English poet should master the rules of grammar before he attempts to bend or break them. ”

- Robert Graves

“ Here will be an old abusing of God's patience and the king's English. ”

- William Shakespeare

“ For us Australians, Singapore also represents sacred soil. Almost 2000 Australians died here in the defense of your island country and our neighborhood. ”

- Michael Jeffery

“ You can take the boy out of England, but you can't take England out of the boy. And ummm, yes, I feel a huge emotional attachment to England. ”

- John Mahoney

“ English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. ”

- Homer Simpson

“ English literature is a kind of training in social ethics. English trains you to handle a body of information in a way that is conducive to action. ”

- Marilyn Butler

“ Go anywhere in England where there are natural, wholesome, contented, and really nice English people, and what do you always find? That the stables are the real center of the household. ”

- George Bernard Shaw

“ Writing in English is the most ingenious torture ever devised for sins committed in previous lives. The English reading public explains the reason why. ”

- James Joyce

“ I was lecturing to a group of English teachers about Dante. Suddenly one of them got up-English teachers, mind you-and said, What is Dante? Well, Madam, I replied, It is a kind of detergent. ”

- Ronald Duncan

“ Newspapermen learn to call a murderer an alleged murderer and the King of England the alleged King of England to avoid libel suits. ”

- Stephen B. Leacock

“ On the same line of reasoning, if Australians were to be Australians, or rather if Australians were as separate from any other nation as Australia from any other land, there would be no jealousy between them on England's account. ”

- Henry Lawson

“ When I got out of the army I went to college, and I got a Bachelor's degree in English, and then I went to University, and I got a master's degree in English. Because I thought I wanted to teach English. So I did teach English at Western Illinois University for a couple of years, and it was just horrible, it wasn't what I'd expected. ”

- John Mahoney

“ Well, English is no problem for me because I am actually English. My whole family are English; I was brought up listening to various forms of the English accent. Obviously there are more specific ones that get a little bit tricky. Same with American stuff… ”

- Guy Pearce

“ Compared to, say, a prime minister of England, a president has actually astonishingly few legal powers. A prime minister of England can take England to war all by himself. He doesn't have to have a vote in Parliament, nothing. The President of the United States has to get a Declaration of War. ”

- David Frum

“ Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. ”

- Robert Benchley

“ The whole world is in revolt. Soon there will be only five Kings left — the King of England, the King of Spades, The King of Clubs, the King of Hearts, and the King of Diamonds. ”

- King Farouk of Egypt

“ Newspapermen learn to call a murderer 'an alleged murderer' and the King of England 'the alleged King of England' to avoid libel suits. ”

- Stephen B. Leacock

“ Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to? ”

- Clarence Darrow

“ England and America are two countries separated by a common language. ”

- George Bernard Shaw

“ Every English poet should master the rules of grammar before he attempts to bend or break them. ”

- Robert von Ranke Graves

“ "Reality" is the only word in the English language that should always be used in quotes. ”

- Unknown

“ The tipping custom originated in England when small sums were dropped into a box marked T.I.P.S. — TO INSURE PROMPT SERVICE. ”

- Unknown

“ English was good enough for Jesus Christ and it's good enough for the children of Texas. ”

- Miriam ‘Ma’ Ferguson

“ The two most beautiful words in the English language are ``check enclosed.''. ”

- Dorothy Parker

“ BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters — the most difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably; a kind, therefore, much affected by those who cannot acceptably write any kind. ”

- Ambrose Bierce
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