Quotes of Henny Youngman - somelinesforyou

“ I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ What is a home without children? Quiet. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ What is a home without children? Quiet. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win. Henny Youngman, comedian and violinist (19061998) ”

- Henny Youngman

“ If at first you don't succeed… so much for skydiving. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ My brother-in-law... I wish he would learn a trade, so we'd know what kind of work he was out of. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in- law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop. - Henny Youngman. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in- law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in- law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet. ”

- Henny Youngman

“ My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ”

- Henny Youngman
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