Quotes of Jack Handey

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If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast.

- Jack Handey

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“ Your memory feels like home to me. So whenever my mind wanders, it always finds it’s way back to you. ”

- Ranata Suzuki

“ Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to help you grow. ”

- Unknown

“ Eyes not only see but reveal secrets that hidden within our very soul, as You and I stroll in this world in search for our true and better selves." Morco ”

- Jeff Morco

“ It takes guts and humility to admit mistakes. Admitting we're wrong is courage, not weakness. ”

- Roy T. Bennett

“ Some people are not capable of loving you the way you need to be loved It might be wise to just wish them well and take care of yourself. ”

- Charles E Hudson

“ There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don’t need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain. ”

- Audrey Hepburn

“ Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. ”

- Anonymous

“ The one that’s different often has the odds stacked against them but usually ends up with the biggest rewards so it’s always worth it. ”

- TorronLee Dewar

“ Each of us is an innkeeper who decides if there is room for Jesus! ”

- Neal A. Maxwell

“ What if it becomes less about how we look and more about how much we care? What if it becomes less about how much money we earn and more about how much we share our good fortune? Imagine a world where who we are in our hearts is the ultimate status symbol. ”

- Amy Leigh Mercree

“ Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great. ”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“ Just when you think it can't get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can't get any better, it can. ”

- Nicholas Sparks

“ Unless you love someone, nothing else makes sense. ”

- e.e. cummings

“ Armed with positive thoughts, it becomes easier to focus on your goals, while the opposite also holds true. ”

- Stephen Richards

“ To the wellorganized mind, death is but the next great adventure. ”

- J.K. Rowling

“ Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. ”

- Confucius

“ A heart, once stolen, can never be taken back. ”

- Marissa Meyer

“ When things do not go your way, remember that every challenge — every adversity — contains within it the seeds of opportunity and growth. ”

- Roy T. Bennett

“ We would frequently be ashamed of our good deeds if people saw all of the motives that produced them. ”

- Francois De La Rochefoucauld

“ I love my attitude problem. ”

- Unknown

“ If ur laptop doesnt smell like fire then ur losing. ”

- Genereux Philip

“ You are everything I never knew I always wanted. ”

- Fools Rush In

“ About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won't like you at all. ”

- Rita Mae Brown

“ There’s only so many variations on the basics of human relationships. To me, it’s all about the detail and how you tell the story. How you say, ‘I love you.’ ”

- K. Flay