Quotes of Dave Barry

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The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to spew out paper.

- Dave Barry

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“ Getting an idea should be like sitting down on a pin. It should make you jump up and do something. ”

- E. L. Simpson

“ I felt overwhelmed. I didn’t expect a first kiss to be so…life altering. In a few brief moments, the rule book of my universe had been rewritten. Suddenly I was a brand new person. I was as fragile as a newborn, but instead of the doctor placing me in my mother’s arms, he’d put me in Ren’s. What would Ren do with me? Would he draw me near, soothe me, and teach me about this new world or would he reject me and tell the doctor there must be some mistake. There was no way to know. What a breakable and delicate thing a heart was, no wonder I’d kept mine locked away. ”

- Colleen Houck

“ The little unremembered acts of kindness and love are the best parts of a person’s life. ”

- William Wordsworth

“ If A equals success, then the formula is A equals X plus Y and Z, with X being work, Y play, and Z keeping your mouth shut. ”

- Albert Einstein

“ Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely. ”

- Roy T. Bennett

“ Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. ”

- St. Augustine

“ Mistakes are not bad; excuses are. ”

- Udai Yadla

“ It’s not bragging if you can back it up. ”

- Muhammad Ali

“ I spend most nights at home falling in love with the idea of you. ”

- Michael Faudet

“ I don't think you can define love. ”

- Harry Styles

“ There are times in life which proves life is wife and wife is life. ”

- Fahad Basheer

“ Awake, my friend! Arise, my friend! Start walking my friend! And do not stop until you bring the change you wish to see in your society! ”

- Abhijit Naskar

“ You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway. ”

- Steve Maraboli

“ We would frequently be ashamed of our good deeds if people saw all of the motives that produced them. ”

- Francois De La Rochefoucauld

“ You need just the right amount of 'Fuck the world' and the right amount of belief in something...and you need the right amount of love. ”

- Gerard Way

“ If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. ”

- Unknown

“ Denna is a wild thing," I explained. "Like a hind or a summer storm. If a storm blows down your house, or breaks a tree, you don't say the storm was mean. It was cruel. It acted according to its nature and something unfortunately was hurt. The same is true of Denna. ”

- Patrick Rothfuss

“ A daily dose of daydreaming heals the heart, soothes the soul, and strengthens the imagination. ”

- Richelle E. Goodrich

“ Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great. ”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“ I guess that’s just part of loving people: You have to give things up. Sometimes you even have to give them up. ”

- Lauren Oliver

“ The beautiful thing about love is that you just need to plant it once and nurture it and it shall bloom into blossoms that would cover the valleys. ”

- Hermann J. Steinherr

“ Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. ”

- Mark Twain

“ Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new. ”

- Ursula K. Le Guin

“ Never run from the truth. It is always there; it never changes – save your energy. ”

- Steve Maraboli

“ When someone beats a rug, the blows are not against the rug, but against the dust in it. ”

- Gandhi