Quotes of Jack Handey

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.

- Jack Handey

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“ When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. ”

- Wayne Dyer

“ If I love you more than you love me, I’m as good as dead. Yet I can’t make myself take it back. I can’t just walk away from you, because every time you pass by me without smiling, without touching my hand, or at least making eye contact, it feels like I’m dying inside. ”

- Rachel Vincent

“ I felt overwhelmed. I didn’t expect a first kiss to be so…life altering. In a few brief moments, the rule book of my universe had been rewritten. Suddenly I was a brand new person. I was as fragile as a newborn, but instead of the doctor placing me in my mother’s arms, he’d put me in Ren’s. What would Ren do with me? Would he draw me near, soothe me, and teach me about this new world or would he reject me and tell the doctor there must be some mistake. There was no way to know. What a breakable and delicate thing a heart was, no wonder I’d kept mine locked away. ”

- Colleen Houck

“ We're staying together," he promised. "You're not getting away from me. Never again. ”

- Rick Riordan

“ Life is a game and true love is a trophy. ”

- Rufus Wainwright

“ Don’t take the high ground and assume you already know what you’ll do. The truth is, when it comes to someone you love, you’ll find there isn’t anything you won’t do. ”

- Richelle Mead

“ In case you never get a second chance: don't be afraid!" "And what if you do get a second chance?" "You take it! ”

- C. JoyBell C.

“ I will love you even when I am dust on the wind. ”

- Nalini Singh

“ Tell me then, does love make one a fool or do only fools fall in love? ”

- Orhan Pamuk

“ Let no one who loves be called unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow. ”

- J. M. Barrie

“ Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to help you grow. ”

- Unknown

“ Love comforteth like sunshine after rain. ”

- William Shakespeare

“ Willingness to show we are interested in our children’s needs takes the burden and worries off their minds. It shows compassion on our end, and it builds trust on their end. ”

- Charlena E. Jackson

“ Life is a series of pulls back and forth... A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. Most of us live somewhere in the middle. A wrestling match...Which side win? Love wins. Love always wins ”

- Mitch Albom

“ To pay gratitude, sign of generosity. ”

- Shekhar Srivastava

“ The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplaceable being. ”

- Tom Robbins

“ Do it big, do it right, and do it with style. ”

- Fried Astaire

“ I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as a tree. A tree whose hungry mouth is pressed Against the earth's sweet flowing breast; A tree that looks at God all day And lifts her leafy arms to pray; A tree that may in summer wear A nest of robins in her hair; Upon whose bosom snow has lain; Who intimately lives with rain. Poems are made by fools like me, But only God can make a tree. ”

- Joyce Kilmer

“ Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through selfgratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. ”

- Helen Keller

“ Nothing can bring a real sense of security into the home except true love. ”

- Billy Graham

“ Every day is your entire life. ”

- Mike Stagnitta

“ Anything that makes weak physically, intellectually and spiritually, reject it as poison. ”

- Swami Vivekananda

“ Repetition is the mother of skill. (might be someone else who wrote it). ”

- Anthony Robbins

“ I keep thinking about this river somewhere, with the water moving really fast. And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the end it’s just too much. The current’s too strong. They’ve got to let go, drift apart. ”

- Kazuo Ishiguro