Quotes of Mitch Hedberg

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All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.

- Mitch Hedberg

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“ Hmm…now that I think about it, housecats are often coddled and petted. You don’t pet me nearly enough. You must be a lax owner. How selfish of you to deprive your cat of attention. ”

- Colleen Houck

“ All things are difficult before they are easy. ”

- Thomas Fuller

“ In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can’t build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery and death. ”

- Anne Frank

“ If you want a future that makes you happy, if you want a world that you’re excited about, get your ass out there and earn it. ”

- Tom Bilyeu

“ I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now. ”

- Taylor Swift

“ A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided. ”

- Anthony Robbins

“ Where you go, I shall go; where you die, I shall die, and there will I be buried. ”

- Rosamund Hodge

“ Without term limits, some remain in office for decades; as a result, their power increases and they feel entitled, and ignore the people they represent; but do not be fooled that term limits would ultimately change representation, for it’s the ignorance of the populace who continue returning the same people to office. ”

- RJ Intindola

“ When someone beats a rug, the blows are not against the rug, but against the dust in it. ”

- Gandhi

“ I don't think you can define love. ”

- Harry Styles

“ It’s not bragging if you can back it up. ”

- Muhammad Ali

“ One rarely falls in love without being as much attracted to what is interestingly wrong with someone as what is objectively healthy. ”

- Alain de Botton

“ Finding the lesson behind every adversity will be the one important thing that helps get you through it. ”

- Roy T. Bennett

“ Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack. ”

- Mary Roberts Rinehart

“ Freedom comes from a sense of empowerment. ”

- Amy Leigh Mercree

“ It is time to stop a young woman from being manipulated to break her ass and tear herself down to the core in order to build a man up. Once she builds him up, more than half the time he leaves her to figure out the millionpiece puzzle of life. Wow! It never amazes me how men forget who was there for them when they didn’t have a damn thing to their name. It’s a timeout for that! ”

- Charlena E. Jackson

“ I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me. ”

- Abraham Lincoln

“ When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you. ”

- Plato

“ In the waltz of the leaves in the air In the features of the playful clouds In the nostalgia carried by the wind In Paris alone, I save your love (fragment from Your presence “partout”, chapter Hope) ”

- Claudia Pavel

“ Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great. ”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“ As an African elite, look within and ask, what can I do to change the present African narratives? What niche can I carve and do my uncompromising best to lift this continent? For my sake and for the sake of my children Jumoke Odepe ”

- Jumoke Odepe

“ I just...I just miss him. And I hate being so alone. ”

- Suzanne Collins

“ The difference between the love of a man and the love of a woman is that a man will always give reasons for loving, but a woman gives no reasons for loving. ”

- Fulton J. Sheen

“ and then I look deep into your eyes and we melt into each other and enjoy that melting, like those things that belong together... (fragment from Passion beneath, chapter Passion) ”

- Claudia Pavel